


If only I could go back

by kenwayallgetalong



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Apex Games, Character Study, F/F, Revenant Being Revenant (Apex Legends), The Void, murder robot with a soft heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23965333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenwayallgetalong/pseuds/kenwayallgetalong
Summary: A nightmare gets his wish.
Relationships: Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	If only I could go back

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by @VBabylon, and their absolutely fantastic art, which can be found here: 
> 
> https://twitter.com/VBabylon/status/1251194408743194625

_Sniper. Move._ The voice whispered to her, and Wraith dropped immediately, sliding to a large rock for cover,just as the unmistakeable _crack_ of Kraber fire rang out from the direction of the Harvester. “Sniper. Heads down!” She yelled to her squadmates, as she grabbed her own sniper and readied it to fire. Pathfinder came swinging around the cliffside, dropping down to land in cover beside her, as he pulled out a shield battery and began recharging his shields. 

“We should move. The Ring is nearby.” He chimed in, as he tossed the empty battery and pulled out his Spitfire.

“Mind the sniper, tin can.” Growled another voice, like a knife scraped over metal, and Wraith inwardly shivered, despite knowing he was on their side. Revenant scuttled over to their position, crouched low, cradling his Longbow in his metal arms. He’d been in the Games for months now, on her team for dozens of matches, and he still unsettled her. She took a small dose of comfort in the fact that Revenant unsettled _everyone_ , and put her eye to the scope. Before she could scan the Harvester properly, an alarm sounded, and the announcer spoke. 

“Attention. Ring moving.” The voice droned, as the shimmer of orange in the sky began pushing in toward them.

“Shit, we’re pinned.” Wraith muttered, as she took stock of their surroundings. No cover to move to to avoid the sniper, and the ring was pushing in every second. She cursed under her breath, and slung her rifle across her back, flexing her hands as she prepared to enter the rift. She could spy one of the small white buildings connected to the Harvester below, its doors already blown open. “I’ll get us there. Be ready to move.” 

“Covering you!” Path chimed happily, raising his Spitfire and laying down cover fire toward the sniper’s position. Revenant cocked his head as he glanced at Wraith, then raised his own rifle to do the same. Wraith took a deep breath and punched a tunnel into the air in front of her, before sprinting out of cover. The sniper’s bullet smacked into the rock beside her as she ran, missing her body but just clipping her scarf that billowed behind her, and she reflexively phased out of existence, back into the cold of the void, gritting her teeth as she kept the tunnel open behind her. Snatches of visions flew past her, millions of potential other futures and versions of herself, but she kept focused, sliding into cover at the base of the hill, and gasping as she exited the void once more, before clenching her fist tightly again, setting the portal. 

“Portal set!” She added, pulling out her Prowler and covering the hallway before her, as the other two followed suit. Pathfinder exited cheerily, with a quick “Thank you, friend!”, before moving into the Harvester quickly. Revenant was spat out shortly after him, but the simulacrum swayed on his feet for a moment, almost dazed.

_Was that even possible?_

She watched as he reached back toward the portal, his spindly metal fingers twitching as if to grab something from the void. “Hey, Rev.” She ventured cautiously, trying to draw his attention back to the game. He spun back, his orange eyes glowing fiercely. She jerked her head up the corridor, where Pathfinder was combing through a supply bin. “Game’s still on.” The simulacrum’s unmoving facemask stared back at her, unsettling in its stillness, before he turned away from the portal with a synthesized growl as he withdrew his Peacekeeper, cocking it viciously. 

“Find me something to kill.” He growled, heading down the corridor to join Pathfinder, and Wraith glanced back briefly at the shimmering purple circle suspended in the doorway, before closing it with a flick of her wrist and following them.

-

They all unwound one way or another after a match, Wraith mused, as she worked at her scarf with a needle and thread, patching up the hole from the sniper’s bullet. She was sat up on the balcony of the common area, where she could see the faint smudge of the World’s Edge storms on the horizon. Caustic had headed straight to his lab, as he did after every game, to view his ‘results’, Bloodhound was sat on the roof with their raven, watching the sun set. Path had been in a particularly good mood since the match ended with a solid win for their squad, and Revenant had only threatened two of the Legends since they’d made it home, which was a new record. The Syndicate was happy and showering them with credits, and the Legends’ quarters were jubilant in the way they were after a particularly good match. 

They all burnt off post-match adrenaline in their own ways, and she watched from her perch above as Mirage and Octane squabbled and jostled each other over some video game, and a fond smile tugged at her lips. Once, when he was atrociously drunk, Elliott had confided that Octavio reminded him of his brothers, in a way, and Wraith could see it in their casual friendship, wrestling the other and trading insults while trying to beat them onscreen simultaneously. 

Nearby, Path sat with Gibraltar and Lifeline, watching the replay of the match as Path swung around Gibraltar’s Dome of Protection, spraying bullets down at him. Makoa just chuckled sheepishly as Path cheered at the replay, and Ajay rolled her eyes good-naturedly and fiddled with her drone, poking at its inner workings with a tiny set of tools.  She smiled softly, despite herself. 

Beside her, the portal shimmered brighter, and she remembered it. It had been next to her for a few hours now, and she’d almost forgotten it in her musings. She reached out through the portal to help the person inside back through, and a blue gloved hand gripped hers tight, as she helped Wattson step back out into the real world. 

“Good trip?” Wraith asked, picking her needle and thread back up to work at the scarf. Natalie smiled wetly, running a hand through her short blonde hair before pulling her hood back up over it, using the movement to dab surreptitiously at her eyes. 

“ _Oui._ I’m sorry for asking you again, but I-.”

“Not a problem.” Wraith cut in quickly. People always asked her if they could use her portals in their downtime, wanting to see what they’d only glimpsed in the midst of a heated battle as they zipped between dimensions. She hadn’t tried to watch Wattson’s trip, she never tried to watch anyone’s, but she could take a guess where she’d gone to. Plus, she had a soft spot for her, ( _“a cruuuuush,”_ Elliott had sung once, teasing her, before she good-naturedly gut punched him in response), and was happy to oblige her. After all, everyone asked at some point. 

Well, almost everyone. 

Wattson smiled at her response, understanding Wraith’s curtness for what it was. She saw enough when she phased between dimensions; she didn’t need to be told what she’d already glimpsed in the void. Wattson turned to go, bending down to kiss Wraith on the cheek briefly, surprising her. 

“ _Merci, cherie.”_ She whispered, before quickly leaving, an extra bounce in her step. Wraith watched her go for a moment, bemused; it had been a long while since someone was able to surprise her.

_Danger._ Interrupted the voice, sharply, and she quickly reached for the kunai at her side before she registered the threat. A clawed metal hand reached over the balcony’s railing, and Revenant pulled himself up and over it, landing languidly in front of her. 

“Rev.” She said coolly, spinning the knife in her hand and tucking it back into her belt, and returning her attention to her sewing. “Need something?” She asked, keeping her voice casual. The Syndicate had promised Revenant wasn’t a threat outside of the Games, but she’d seen the footage from Tenmei Crypto had recovered, and she wasn’t letting her guard down just yet.

“I saw something. In the void. I want to go back in.” Revenant growled, his clawed hands coiling into fists, as if ready to pummel her into the ground if she said no. She paused in her sewing and glanced over at the simulacrum standing before her, unmoving, as his eyes bored into her. It wasn’t a surprise, she’d been wondering about it since that moment in the match when he’d reached out to the portal. Come to think of it, any time they were in a squad together and Revenant used a portal of hers, he was always particularly vengeful after exiting the void. The void wasn’t an easy thing to experience, Wraith knew that better than anyone. She’d seen everything she needed to. The other Legends hadn’t though. 

Bloodhound asked her each week like clockwork if they could use a portal, only ever taking an hour each time, thanking her profusely, while their raven perched on her shoulder and pecked at her hair.

Gibraltar occasionally asked her to use a portal, after a particularly rough match, or when working for S.A.R.A.S got too much, and he’d always exit cheerier and more boisterous, and made a loaf of _fa’apapa_ bread for her as thanks.

Once, just once, Bangalore had given her a stack of credits to use a portal, had stayed in the void for hours, and never mentioned it again. 

But Revenant had never asked.

“Sure.” She said casually, shrugging as she put her sewing down once more and stood, shaking out her arm, and thrusting it out in front of her, opening a portal. The wine-dark hole stood there, shimmering round the edges, as Revenant stared it down, as if he could gut it, before flinging himself into it, disappearing into the void. Wraith sat back down, and paused, glancing over at the portal. Despite herself, she was curious. Curious at what Revenant was looking for. She glanced around her, and seeing no one, carefully dropped into the void. She knew she couldn’t see exactly what he was looking for, the exact universe he wanted to drop into, but she could make out the blurred shapes, as if watching it all through a pane of smoked glass. 

Revenant stood, unmoving, as he watched someone stood in front of a mirror. He was tall, hair damp and slightly tousled, as he carefully whetted a razor and swept it across his face in precise, short strokes. He tilted his head back to reach the base of his neck, and Wraith watched as Revenant mirrored the motion, his metal hand reaching up. The figure in the void moved quickly for a moment, and jerked, as a spot of blood appeared on his neck. He put his hand to it and placed the razor down, as he quickly reached for a tissue, and Wraith watched as Revenant slowly withdrew his hand, staring at it, as if willing the blood to appear on his fingers, to cross dimensions and universes and impossibly prove he was still human, underneath the layers of steel and programming he’d been forced into.

Wraith had seen enough. She took a breath and pulled herself back into the real world, sitting back in her chair and picking up her sewing again. She was curious, she couldn’t help herself, but she felt for him. She knew what it was to be unmade against her will, and for the first time, she felt a twinge of empathy for the simulacrum. She shook her head and returned her attention to her sewing. He’d probably be in the void for a while, since it took him this long to ask.

A flicker of movement caught her eye, and she watched as the steel hands appeared from the portal, and Revenant pulled himself back out of the void, looking out at the horizon. He’d barely been in there a minute.

“Find what you were looking for?” She ventured carefully, keeping her eyes down. 

“Hm.” Revenant growled briefly, glancing over at her, before turning and vaulting the balcony, dropping to the floor below and stalking away. Wraith shrugged, and turned to close the portal beside her with a brief movement of her fist. She hadn’t expected much, truth be told. The void wasn’t easy on the best of people, and it was hardly going to cure Revenant’s bloodlust. She kept sewing, and listened to the voices of the other Legends below, letting them wash around her as she worked.

-

_Another day, another road,_ Wraith’s mind briefly supplied, as the ground rushed up to meet her. She hit the ground hard, and her vision briefly whited out for a moment, before she managed to hold herself together, pushing herself up onto one knee. A fresh wave of pain hit her, and she stifled back a scream as she felt her stomach. That was a cracked rib, easily, maybe two. She’d overextended herself, been an idiot. She’d got cornered by two new applicants to the games, and easily fought them off, but one of them had pulled a grenade on her as they bled out. At the time, jumping off the Harvester had felt like the smarter option, but she was having trouble defending it now. She managed to reach up and tap her comm with a bloody hand. “I’m down.” She choked out, gritting her teeth against the pain. 

“Oscar Mike.” Came Bangalore’s quick response, as Crypto agreed. 

“Got eyes on you. There in 30.” He added in his low voice. Wraith exhaled shakily, and wrapped a hand around her ribs. Thirty seconds. She could survive that long. Another wave of pain hit her, and she choked back a howl as she bent over herself, grimacing. Her vision blurred with tears, and she saw something move before her. A blurry shape moved toward her, its head cocked at an angle, a pair of twisted horns atop it. 

_Revenant._ He’d been gifted the new mask by some rich patron who liked watching him brutalise the other Legends in the arena, and the simulacrum had laughed bitterly as he put it on. The snapping of a Peacekeeper’s action reached her ears, and she glanced up at the three black barrels staring back at her. She stared back levelly, not giving it the satisfaction of screaming, as the nightmare stared back at her. The barrel in her face twitched somewhat, as if his steel hands shook. Her vision blurred again, and as she blinked her eyes to clear them, he was gone. She twisted, despite the pain, to see if he’d just reappeared behind her. He liked doing that sometimes. But no. The area around the Harvester was empty, save for her. The _whump_ of a smoke launcher firing snapped her out of her thoughts, and the air around her became thick with white smoke, as a strong arm grabbed hers and hoisted her up onto their back. They jostled her slightly, as they stormed into one of the buildings nearby, kicking the door off its hinges with a _crack_ , before setting her back down. As her vision cleared, Wraith saw Bangalore pull a syringe from her belt. 

“You’re alright. I gotcha.” She smiled, injecting it into her leg, and Wraith groaned in relief as the pain receded. She could see Crypto now too, leaning all too casually against the wall as he flicked through his drone feed. 

“We’re clear.” He said curtly, snapping the remote back together and tucking it back in his pocket, before withdrawing a medkit from the other pocket, tossing it to Bangalore, who caught it without looking, and injected it into Wraith’s arm. 

“Thanks.” Wraith smiled, as Bangalore tossed the empty syringe away and pulled her to her feet, feeling back to strength. She pulled out her rifle, reloading it, as Bangalore and Crypto did the same. 

“We need to move. Can you get us a portal to Fragment?” Bangalore asked as she checked the map. “Ring’s moving in sixty. Let’s find a spot to defend.” 

“Copy.” Wraith nodded, shaking her fist out, ready to jump into the void. “Follow on my go.” She added, before punching a tunnel and sprinting out the door. She jumped into the void, and amidst the usual whispers, she could have sworn she heard a ghostly voice whisper something like thanks as she moved through the void. 


End file.
